seen, and probably still is.

ignifies the coming apocalypse. It was the most asinine joke of a television program I had ever seen, and probably still is. And while I tend to get a lot of grief when I spend an inordinate amount of time bitching about things like TV shows, I know that it can be avoided by changing the channel, which I do quite frequently. However, I recently ran across a show on the horrendous TLC (the Learning Channel) that I just can’t ignore. It’s the most obnoxious and repulsive thing I’ve ever
would have been logged in the FBI’s pedophile database if I had. But I digress. As far as I can tell, this is the show: a bunch of maniacal, sicko parents with serious mental issues paint up their daughters, whose ages range from about three or four to ten or so, like little hookers and enter them in beauty pageants, and the show documents various families as they prepare for the big pageant.

Lest you wonder, these aren’t innocent little “just for fun” contests to see who has the cutest kids, these are pageants. Pageant pageants. It’s serious shit, with tiaras, (hence the name) evening gowns, talent contests and the whole nine yards. These little girls get waxed, plucked, painted, brushed, spray-tanned and taught obnoxious dance routines so they look like a bunch of little plastic cartoons. The families hire stylists, make-up artists, and everything else to make these poor girls look like little prepubescent sex objects. It’s disgusting.
nnot for the life of me figure out how this kind of thing is acceptable in modern society. Yes, I know we glorify pseudo-prostitutes like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, and great swaths of people are inexplicably captivated by the Miss America/USA/World pageants, but most of us would agree that Britney Spears isn’t exactly looked upon lovingly by the general public. And while you could argue that the Miss USA pageant is a “celebration of beauty” or whatever, the reality is that it’s mostly a showcase in superficial bullshit, and probably far too popular than it should beheard of on cable television, and the fact that this